“Driven,” “Passionate,” a “Get it done kind of girl…” These are a few of the words (at least the kind ones) that I have heard people use to describe me. I’m a big-idea person. My wheels are spinning at top speed at all times.
For the first five years of my now-going-on-ten-year marriage, I worked as a special education teacher, and then I started and ran a business. I put everything I had into my passions—working many, many hours physically…and non-stop mentally. I put my heart and soul into everything that I do. It’s all or nothing for me.
The last five years of my marriage, I have had the opportunity to stay home and raise my children. These years have been a true blessing. But it would be a lie to say they haven’t been a struggle in some ways. It took me at least two years to determine my identity—to stop looking at people like a deer in headlights when they would casually ask in conversation (like almost all people do), “and what do you do?” I didn’t know how to respond or “what I did.” It felt so unimportant to say, “I stay home with my kids.” Over the next several years, however, God has taught me to confidently claim that role and feel proud of myself for it as well.
Regardless of my confidence, though, my mental wheels have never slowed, and I continue to feel like I need to do “bigger” things to please God—to truly make an impact on this world. We are all called very directly in Matthew 28 to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations.” I buy into this commission with 100% of my heart, and I believe that I have a huge responsibility in this call.
Although I have fought through a roller coaster of emotions and feelings of my identity as a wife and mother, God has finally brought me to a place of security in my role. For this moment, in this season, with a 7, 2, and 1 year old at home, I take The Great Commission more seriously than ever as I invest the majority of my time “making disciples” at home. I choose to invest the majority of every single day teaching my children Biblical principles, modeling a Godly marriage, and praying with and for them. There are many days that I know I could be doing something “bigger”—developing and running a charitable company, playing my part in a large “movement,” etc. But for today, for THIS moment, I am choosing to hear God speak to me in the warm, gentle breeze as my children play in the sandbox beside me. I hear Him remind me in this moment that I am successfully playing my part in the Great Commission—multiplying disciples through the children that He has provided me. It is my responsibility to surrender my children to Him each and every day, to steward them for His good and perfect will.
God willing, the legacy of my children’s lives will be eternally impacting. I will count each day that I have with them as a blessing provided by God—a new day to teach them what I have learned from the many mistakes I have made. I hope they can hear, see, and know God in their everyday lives, in a way that took me 35 years to learn. I hope they can learn to measure success based on the number of lives that they shine Jesus’ love onto while on this earth.
If you are like me and your days are filled with diapers and formula, with books and runny noses, with dirty dishes and dirty hands, just know, Momma, you ARE doing enough. The investment you make into those tiny humans every day is the Commission that God has placed before you today. Make the most of those moments, and surrender this season of your life to Him each waking morning.
About the Author:
I’m a country-livin’, sun-seekin’, over-thinkin’ kind of girl! God created my husband, Jack, specifically for me (and putting up with me), and I’m happy to have the high-priority job on this earth to show the love of Jesus to him each day. We have recently celebrated our 10-year anniversary, and have the opportunity to steward and homeschool a 7, 2, and 1 year old in which they teach us more life lessons than we could ever teach them! We have a passion for marriage ministry and a newfound love for missions near and far. I enjoy spending my time reading, writing, cooking, decorating and studying whatever it is that God has placed on my heart each season.